Christmas Eve – The Third Wheel
I didn't grow up celebrating Christmas. Neither did most of my childhood friends. So we could play football in the courtyard and let the day pass like any other. But as you get older and start to understand what traditions and togetherness mean (and the sense of belonging that comes with them), you can find yourself missing both the football games of your childhood and the Christmas you never had. You might even start to envy the people you care about for something they barely notice themselves. It is a strange thing to long for a tradition you have never known.
For several years, generous families have invited me home for Christmas Eve. I have eaten, sung, danced and unwrapped presents. I have been genuinely grateful for their hospitality. And yet, at times, I have felt like a guest. On the harder days, like a well-meaning integration project.
The Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish once wrote: "If I had two roads to choose from, I would choose a third."
Because who actually decided that you have to choose between celebrating Christmas with other people's families and not celebrating at all? You don't need to inherit a tradition to make it your own.
So last year, some friends and I held our own Christmas Eve. We were ten people with very different relationships to Christmas. We ate duck, swapped jokes and had a wonderful time.
It dawned on me that Christmas doesn't require childhood memories, inherited traditions or even a family. Because Darwish is right: we don't have to settle for the choices others have laid out for us. Some traditions we inherit. Others we can start ourselves.
Together with ActionAid Denmark (Mellemfolkeligt Samvirke), I am hosting a Christmas Eve dinner with room for 70 people.
There will be a three-course dinner, drinks, presents and a few surprises along the way. This is not a charity event. No one has to prove they are lonely, explain their circumstances or earn their place at the table.
You don't need to belong to any particular religion or social group. You are welcome simply as a person who would like to celebrate Christmas a little differently.
Warm wishes, Mo & Haidar
The event will be held in Danish.
